something is wrong, somewhere.

besfren left this morning.
with uncertain promise of when will she returns.
i'm having too much lost at this point.
i'm not sure if i can handle another one.
this is the time when i feel like smoking, or get into destructive acts.
but if those didn't help back then,
i don't think they'll make much difference this time around.
i told her i'll be fine, but we both knew it wasn't even true.
when i started to gave her inane questions like
'what if i lost my car key again?'
'who's gona send me to the clinic if i get sick?'
and i puked right after she left,
i knew i'm not taking this well,
at all.